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as i walk alone in the cold rain,
my mind drifted away to the past.
to what we used to be
to the secrets we used to share.
how i wish you were here with me,
sharing the umbrella
in this lonely yet cold night.
whispering sweet nothings in my ear
i miss you so much.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
last thursday 16.4.09 i finally went out wif my dear dear's :D went to vivo :Dmiss them so much... had a fun time wif them :D did some embarassing like walking alone in e malay foodcourt. cos dear dear wanted me see e gal who don like her.. and see whether e guy handsome anot.. they said e guy used to be damn shuai lolx... but i see like... ehhh nw kinda not nice >.<> walk walk shop shop :D den i brought! alot of snacks home! hahas... dear dear's all kinda shocked =x den i went home 1st for dinner :D cyas soon again:Dlove ya<3
hmmm'stoday kinda boring... i was slping my day away :x cos i was really really very tired... went church in e morning... had prata :x and i went to slp after tt :x gosh! i'm gonna grow fat! poor me :( woke up at 6+ chat wif baybee on e phone.. while reading my novel :D new moon the book after twilight =x tsk tsk it was so nice>.< and ty baybee for listening to all my problems.. and ty to my frens too for cheering me up :D thinking back... i think yest i was pms-ing... cos today my da yi ma! came and visit me! it came so early this mth! guess i was damn stress out for this mth and march too x.x haix so many things going on... really wish everything can just move on a slower pace of time. for me to catch my breathe..
Everything in life has a meaning... Nothing in life goes wasted, Even this grief you are going through now Will become a big step that takes you closer to the true meanings of life. Think of it this way - These tears, they flow to mend your broken heart and cleanse your spirit, And this sorrow, it shows you the preciousness of love. This suffering is to help you become someone who understands the pain in others' hearts.
super unhappy... moody... depressed... miserable.... heavy-hearted... ill-fated... gloomy... pessimistic...
haix feeling so down... this wk was the worse wk ever... cos of his mum... haix no matter hw hard u try... things still don work out between his mum and me... so sickening... and he was really down... because i suggested to him that... maybe he shld find a better gal... who wont gif him prob... can take care of herself... forever making him happy... and lastly his mum like her... and he was really very demoralised... and told me... why i try so hard and at e end of the day... u ask me find some1 else... why cant u say u will be the suitable person in my life... den i was like ehhh i said maybe only... i was suggesting... den he almost brk again... cos he was so down tt i said tt... and tot i really want it so badly... the wanting of him being wif some1 better...
haix i'm really damn sad, gloomy everything negative... his mum, him, my parents, my frens, ppl around me... everything seems to be crushing... nt going the rite way... and it don feel good... i donno why... i cant stop crying... even when i was wif u today, but we didnt even have any personal time tgt... i need a hug badly... i want to feel that i'm wanted... haix...if time could just stop... and take all e negative things away... it will be damn wonderful... or staying in a place wif nobody i know... nobody to judge me... haix i'm tired... and i know u're tired too
i found this meaningful... Proof that you loved that person Can it be helped that the wound of losing that person hurts you greatly? Are tears streaming from the wound instead of blood? This unrelenting pain is probably eating you away inside. The cry of pain has probably become a wail.
As long as you are you, you will have this pain in your heart. However, and this is important, in time you can get accustomed to this pain. This pain is proof that you are you. This pain is proof that you loved that person. Accept the pain as pain, and live through it.
Of course, you need not follow after your loved one to prove the depth of your love. The proof is in your heart.
haix... i wonder... i ponder... i think... i reminisce... i consider... i reflect....
but still things are still e same... why does happy moments last for a short awhile... and troubles.... problems... mind-blowing issue.... disagreement.... dilemma.... conflict... argument... misunderstanding.... seems to be multipling rapidly... faster than i can keep up to...
i cant stand ur attitude whenever u wake up... if u're so tired i can always leave ur place by myself... y must u always show me ur attitude whenever u wake up... den after that apologised... u didnt even say bye to me x.x u didnt even say anything ._. den after i sms u... all u said was sry... i don need ur sry... y whenever i tot thing were going normal... den some nonsense will appear...
and i still cant stand ur mum... no matter hw hard i try to ignore and nt to piss her off... wad's wrong wif sharing the same chair x.x den she nv say u, only say me... can ask u get off the chair also wad... forget it... eat finished wash hand.... how many times she wan to say... u also nv wash.... y must so be so particular!!!!
empty promises from u... tot we agreed nt to smoke... den u still smoke, still say smoke abit only... quit must quit, no abit or alot... cannot do it den don promise... u also tell me tt line... but u urself cant keep it....
CRAP! BULLSHIT! NAIVE! MY WISHFUL THINKING! always though thing were going fine, but it all just my WISHFUL THINKING at the end of the day. i donno why thing always go this way. i donno wad u are thinking. and i am damn fking tired of it. i changed, u changed, but y!everything still e same!does e problem lies wif u or wif me? i really donno! i damn tired of this. even today i go wif my fren u ask so much. i feel like a criminal. even if there was a change of plan, i didnt reborn my hair, u also not happy. not like i didnt explain to u why. cos i didnt have time! and i don1 u to be unhappy. so i didnt reborn my hair, cos i wont go home late. and u wont unhappy! like tis think for u also wrong. why u must keep bringing up abt the past. past also past already. is wad i do now, that matters in the future. u cant let go of the past, keep on unhappy! i don feel good at all!totally not! i feel damn fking useless! my bf unhappy i cant even do anything tt will cheer him up! no matter wad i do, wad i say, we're just going round in circles. no matter hw hard we try. maybe we're just not meant to be. don keep on telling me u feel insecure. is u are the 1 who keep on making urself feel that way. u don1 me go out single dates, i didnt already, nw group outing also cant??? and don need to ask me whether i agree to break. just do wadever u want, wadever decision u make, just tell me. u wan u leave, i wont stop. i will face all the emotions myself.
sat... baybee was late, so we end up not watching movie... he went back to slp... wad a piggy! den he ask me go find him for lunch at kovan... so i went, had lunch tgt... bought lots of tibits... den went to his place for movie, Hotel for dogs.. he wanted to watch... den i went to slp after e show lolx... woke up for dinner den watch dark water, den slack slack den go home...
sun.. i had easter party =D and baybee was suppose to meet me at bugis for movie... but but but he was tired and we didnt watch e movie... went to find him again, had my cup corn lolx! yummy!!! and went to his place and did something lame which is playing audi! lolxcos i gt nth better to do... den i was hungry.... so i asked baybee to cook maggie mee for me... haahs 1st time he cooked for me... lolx i was just jking when i said i.. didnt know he will agree to it.. ty baybee ;D den i play psp and he was reading comic online... i played psp till i fall aslp.. lolx! den he said i was laughing in my slp! hahasi guess i was dreaming of smth funny... den play psp again lolx! den when for dinner his mum cook fish congee eeeeksbut i ate abit and baybee took so much for me !so in e end he finished it for me lolx... after tt watch devil wear prada den play psp and baybee fall aslp... wad a pig ;x i was damn hungry! so i went down for my late dinner den cab home... baybee i don care next wk i want to watch knowing! u PIG!
ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i haven blog like so many days.... cos my com was spoilt... and my laptop was down too... everything was spoiling =( so sad........... really had a tough week... without com, my days were so boring.... i even went to lan shop and do my assignment... so hillarious!!!! i bet i was the 1st one... den i sleep talk to my niece... she told me i was asking her that why my panda cannot walk??? soooo random lolx.... and i said smth like there was a button on e panda for me to press, den it can walk already... den my niece took e panda and wore it on her hand and said see is a puppet... den i was like ohhhhhhhh ok, den i snatch it back from her... and went back to slp lolx! so kukufied!!!! lolx waaaaaaaaa den i super duper ultra pissed wif groupmates!!!!!!! fk them man a bruch of grown ups who thinks that they are damn fking mature! fk u la! rarrrssss....
heee's don care abt them... as long as gt my baybee can already... yest i made my baybee damn disappointed =( sry baybee... gif me time to adapt to ur changing k =D and i'm sry that i made u cry... miss ya darling <3
after so long... after so many promises... so many i will change for u... so many i don't want to lose u... but still, u still nt rdy for this rs... i donno why... i really love u alot... but this time i wont make u stay... after 1 yr plus... this is wad u're still telling me... den wad for i ask u to stay... it totally don make any sense at all... so what if i love u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u don even care.......................... roarssssssssssssssssssssss........... I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERY PART OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO LET GO
tsk tsk... today was a long tiring day... woke up at 6.30 bath, change, left house, for job.. kns steven make me come so early x.x next time i will come later reach at 9 =x den start at 10 end at 3... well it was raining, and i had a little misunderstanding wif my baybee... cos during work i could not take my hp... and i told him i end at 2... well cos of some misunderstanding, my baybee was angry wif me, and didnt want to meet... lucky in e end we still met =D i miss u lotssss<3 had so much fun wif baybee today... den came home and accompand baybee play audi... cos we wanted to try the new couple 31 mode =D tsk tsk baybee & i sync very well. most of the time we manage to get 31 hearts. and win the other players, whose lv was higher =x tsk tsk i miss hugging my baybee just like in e audi pic =x look so sweet!!!!!!!!!! muacks! darling i love u
i cant slp again tonight... so many issues going on in my mind... shld i let u go, so tt u can be happier... i don1 to see u being wif me all stressed out... and worried abt this and that... i don1 u to feel insecure... even though alot happened... but nth like tt will ever happen again... i really tried to make u feel secure and love by me... but i don think is euff to make u happy everyday... maybe if u be wif another gal will be better... after all u said, i am not the gal for u... even though, u love me alot... e feeling for me is so deep... but i attracted too many guys... but treat them as fren only... i really donnno wad to do... shld i let u go, and suffer tgt wif u for a few mth or yrs... b4 u find some1 new... OR shld i walk wif u. seeing u sad,stress out, worried abt me everyday... i just wan u to be happy... even if nt being wif me.. haix i donno wad to do...
it's the weekend again =D suppose to meet baybee for 11.30am show... but! as usual baybee could wake up! after my countless morning call! den i went back to slp... lolx! until 10.30++ he answer ._. but i kinda sian already... so he went to prepare and decide to watch 1.30 show.. but donno leh, i think call him till i abit pissed =x so i went back to slp, kinda tired too... so in e end we meet at 3 at amk.. to watch COMING SOON at 3.30 omg tt show damn scary! nice story line... but damn freaky! i kinda keep on screaming =x and baybee covered my mouth so HARD! lolx guess he ps ba =x bring me watch horror show... den went for dinner... add a big big! chicken drumstick! and baybee said e drumstick big euff to cover my face! lolx... walk walk slack slack =D den go prata house slack slack till kinda late... den poof buai buai baybee=x cya next sat again <3>
finally after everything settled... i really hoped things will worked out this time... i really want to be wif u... no more sad sorrowful days... more happy loving days ahead waiting for us... i really want to be wif u o baobei =D love u lots lots lots >< really very happy to be back wif u... hope everything goes well till e end... lets face everything together =D happy happy HAPPY!!!!! no sad o =x
Erm sian.. Kana force to blog.. Hmmm.. Tis past few weeks realli v tough for mi. Aft all toopid incidents happened i can feel tat its tough to trust her again. It's lyk everytime i put my trust on her n let her do wat she wan eventually thing dun work out the way i tot. Promises r meant to be broken? If tt's the case y make promises in the 1st place. To get wat u wan at tat moment? And aft tat dun bother abt it anymore? Hmmm. I believe alot of ppl will agree tat love = trust. So does tat mean beakingof trust = breaking of love? I noe i'm lost during tat few weeks my mind is telling to back off from tis relationship bt my heart is telling mi to stay. To gif a 2nd try. Aiksss.. In the end i still decided to folo my heart. So nt lyk mi lor!!! Suan le nvm abt tis.. Alot of ppl ard mi is telling mi to go off and sae tat i am silly. If tis incidents happen to them they sure will leave. Everytime i heard tis i will feel tat i am toopid, silly y i have to kip tolerate tis kinda nonsense. I dunno whether i am happi abt our patching back. Jus noe tat she is sum1 i love. Love so deeply, too deeply. I dun regret making any of my choice. I will continue waking down tis path till the v end......
Love is a 2 sided sword. Happiness is on 1 side, & the other side is sadness...
4:50 AM
alone* in the rain;
weeee... new blogskin... new look... new beginning with you... lolx!!! finally my blog is done... had so much of problem fixing it... cries!!! heeee's xiao baobei... hope u like the new blog =D
what to do? what shall i do? explain and explain... i know, i understand... i know i hurt u alot... i know everything is too late... i know u want to go, give up... cos u don have e strength to handle... cant put up wif my atttitude... cant stand my behaviour... don trust me, cos of all e problem tt we faced it togethe... den at the 1st place u shld have just left me... when something has happened... but u nv go... put up wif everything... i really appreciate everything u did... tt's y i also start to love u more... and promise since so long, tt it wont happen again... i wont hurt u ever again... why didnt u leave me, when all the problem happened... why u choose to stay? making me love u even more... den nw... cos of all the problem happened... den when something small happened.. u don trust me... all e trust i tried to rebuild, just went down e drain... no matter wad i do... no matter wad i say... no matter hw much i say i love u... no matter hw long i promise u i wont hurt u again... at e end of the day... we are back to e same place... when i ask u to think wad u really wan... start afresh or let go.... haix... trust is really hard to gain... wad shld i do... i really don1 to see u all stressed out... shld i really force myself to let go? or continue to hope tt e future will be better? i just want you to be happy... haix...
haix.. shld not went clubbing yesterday.. even if i went, i shld not have drank.. haix..nw everything is too late again.. got drunk, even though i drank half a cup only.. but graveyard e drink was too much to handle.. after drinking, i tot i can handle it.. but haix.. i was wrong.. why everytime thing go wrong, den i start to realise my mistake.. den everything is too late.. my baybee don1 me already.. cos i promised him tt i wont get drunk.. den in e end i was drunk.. he cant trust me le.. haix.. move on, force myself to go.. force myself not to contact u, no matter how hard it takes.. i wont be a burden to u anymore.. u deserve some1 better ba.. it hurts so much.. i really love u.. after so many things happened.. i really want to settle down wif u.. and face all the sweet, bitter,sour life wif u.. but cant le!!! u're sick & tired of my action and everything already.. haix.. suan le suan le.. i will just stay here.. don1 to go anywhere.. i only love u.. and will only love u..
The rain had drenched the sky, destroying it in an exquisite way. you said you didn't understand, why we should hold hands at this time. i dried out my silence, regret comes as an impulse. even if this is a mistake, it's better than missing a chance.
to be together is called a dream, to separate is called pain. is it so, that unfinished dreams are the most painful. the consequence of getting lost, i can take it. this last exit, only exists after love
can i have a song's worth of time, tightly turn that hug into eternity, in my arms you won't have trouble sleeping, oh, if you want to forget i can lose my memory too
can i have a song's worth of time, to hear the story till the end before saying goodbye, the tears you gave me, leave them on a rainy day. oh, crossing the line you drew, i set the boundary of courage
you said i shouldn't have, shouldn't have said i love you at this time, how should i prove that i don't have the strength to lie, please tell me whether stopping is counted as giving up, i only have the memories of a day
gosh!!!! i'm so happy!!!! just before vday end at 11.49 baybee told me he knew his answer already!!!! gosh i am damn happy!!! he will still be with me =D yeahhhhhhh!!!! thank you worx baybee... i really appreciated it... a brand new start... a whole new beginning just with you... gosh!!! i'm so happy!!!! keep laughing to myself, even when i was bathing =x nw i am too happy to slp... hahas... i cant wait for tmr to come!!! i cant wait to see u!!! Baybee i missed you lots, plenty, uncountable!!!!!!! i wan you~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!
another day... i tot abt it the whole nite... there nth left for me to do... the decision is yours... i have no rights to make u stay... after all u have been through so much for me... no other guy would have done, what u did for me... after last nite long talk... i finally understand what's ur feeling all this while... when u're with me... i didnt know u were feeling so much pain, deep down inside of you... no matter how much apology i tell u, it will nv be euff... to take back all those hurt and burden i gave u... i am lost, after knowing the truth.. wad shld i do? let u go, or ask u to gif us 1 more chance?
i still love u... i started cherishing you too late... knowing wad i want after everything happened... it was all too late... i hurt you too deeply... u don't have the will to carry this journey wif me already... i was just too late for everything... i don't blame you... i am the cause for everything... we started out wrongly... many stupid thing happened bcos of me... it was always me, giving u problem... finally i realise wad i really want.. but is all too late... time wont stop because of me... there no1 to be blame except myself... this relationship would have gone well... if i knew wad i really want in the starting.. now everything is too late... i am the caused for this outcome.. i don't wish for this... it's hurts so bad.........
there is a problem between u and me? but why am i the only one facing it? hw long will this last? i'm not the only person in this rs, u also got a part to play? but why izzit everything to u, seems so easy? everything u say donno, nth, and den the problem goes back to me again? no1 is sharing this burden wif me, no1 is solving the problem we have? why am 1 the only one facing e music alone? when this rs is abt us? but there is only 1 person handling it? i don1 to face this all alone, u're my bf if u still love me, den walk this path together wif me.hold my hand and guide me.and don just think our character don match, is abit too late, 1yr 1mth together already, nw den we found out we don match, when i already love u. is really too late.too late for me to choose to go.i hope we can face this together, we will find a way to get pass this, just like b4.backing out is nt a sollution.think abt it clearly.i don1 to have a one-sided love anymore,i don1 me to be the on clearing up all e mess, enduring everything.i don1 to have a break up too.maybe is time for us to cool down, and think wad exactly do we want?
4:43 AM
alone* in the rain;
I'm tired, stress out... wif my assignment, exams, bf, so much more... i'm breaking down..i donno hw to handle... i cant manage.. i am going to put everything aside... give myself a break, think through things.. wad exactly do we want? hope u will do some thinking abt it too.. having a break..................
there is a problem between u and me? but why am i the only one facing it? hw long will this last? i'm not the only person in this rs, u also got a part to play? but why izzit everything to u, seems so easy? everything u say donno, nth, and den the problem goes back to me again? no1 is sharing this burden wif me, no1 is solving the problem we have? why am 1 the only one facing e music alone? when this rs is abt us? but there is only 1 person handling it? i don1 to face this all alone, u're my bf if u still love me, den walk this path together wif me.hold my hand and guide me.and don just think our character don match, is abit too late, 1yr 1mth together already, nw den we found out we don match, when i already love u. is really too late.too late for me to choose to go.i hope we can face this together, we will find a way to get pass this, just like b4.backing out is nt a sollution.think abt it clearly.i don1 to have a one-sided love anymore,i don1 me to be the on clearing up all e mess, enduring everything.i don1 to have a break up too.maybe is time for us to cool down, and think wad exactly do we want?
4:43 AM
alone* in the rain;
this few weeks,i really donno wad's wrong wif baybee.maybe i am thinking too much, being too sensitive.but ur temper is really becoming worse.am i suppose to live wif it? i really donno wad u want? i am so lost. i tried to communicate wif u, but it just don work, after we talk abt it, things were better for a short period of time. and after that, the next day, u're still e same! i am tired, i really don wish to say this, i know i gave u alot of problem, and is hard for u.but understanding u is hard for me too. i donno wad u wan, u don express urself, u don talk to me, everyday is e same, nth to say to me. sometime i stop and think, where are we heading? is there even a path? or is all just a lie, we're just going in circles? i really donno, deep down in me, i just wan to be wif u, but is this euff for us to walk through this path together? or maybe i am e only person leading this relationship? i really donno, i am lost. recently u also keep on saying break up, i know u're tired but break up does not solve anything, and y u so easily just say break, when i learnt hw to cherish u,wanting u. izzit all too late? when i start loving u, u start to give up and resign to fate that our characters crush, we don't suit one and another,more and more break ups from u.more and more weeks of u being sian when u go out wif me? i really donno wad's going on? do u even care hw i feel? even when i cry, don u feel anything? are u really tt numb? even thought i know u can deal wif pain, but i am ur love 1! y u don do anything, and just wait for thing to happen? do u even take a min to think abt us? wad exactly is going on down here? why all this things are happening? so many questions, but i have no answer to it? because i am not e only person in this relationship.i cant handle it alone. i donno wad to do,i feel tt we're drifting apart,i don understand u. i really donno where we are heading,our promise of having an enjoyable relationship?? where did it all go................
4:42 AM
alone* in the rain;
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... thurday le.... time pass so slow and pass so fast.... faster wkend, i want to meet my baybee...time pass so slow~~~ exams coming le, time pass so fast~~~ so sian... today totally don have e mood to do anything... donno wad's wrong wif me also... feel so weird... nth bothering me also... but i just feel so down~~~ ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh roarsssssssssssss............ wad's wrong wif me._. sianxzxzxzxzxzxzxz!
aiks baybee i love you so much.. thank you for going through all this with me.. made me realise how much u meant to me... no matter what happen NOBODY will be able to break us.. we are meant for one another.. Baobei wo ai ni ♥♥♥ cant wait to see you this week.. muackx..
Sian sian sian~~ Boring boring boring~~~ Kinda out of breath from everything~~ Work place, relationship with my family & gf~~ Haiz~~ Sooooo tiring~~~ Its time for mi to take a break le~~~ Time to be myself n think for myself more le ba~~~ Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~ Sry to everybody tat's is ard mi~~~ I might nt behave lyk wat u all c last time le~~~
Taking A Break Is To Continue A Longer Journey Ahead...
haix the start of today, really SUX like SHIT!!! spoil my mood, waste my time, damn pissed off!!! if and if my baybee woke up on time, and didnt overslpt, all this wont happen ba... but he totally not to be blame... of cos must blame his mother also! cos i called his house and kanna scolding by his mum! saying tt i "mei you zhun zhong" cannot let him slp in peace ar!!! den she hang up.. den i gt my god bro and cloud to call him... at 1st both also failed! cos of his mother ._. keep saying he slping... idiot asshole! den finally cloud called for e 2nd time! and he manage to talk to baybee! but at that time baybee called me back i was too angry already... so of cos, i will say don't meet la!!! baybee u know my pattern de._. den he ask me don angry, but of cos cant wad._. u know me de ma... so i hang up on his call! and he didnt even call back at 1 hr... so i was thinking! maybe he went to prepare himself... so i called him again, no answer! den no choice le la, i personally called his house again._. den his mum answer again._. kanna gan again... this time even better say "ni mei you jia jiao! keep on call and call, i wan to let him slp!" wth man, i was damn pissed of la... i was waiting for 3hrs leh...CB.. so i very persistent! keep telling her i wan to talk to him... and told her i waited for 3hrs for him! but then u know wad she say! " den u continue to wait lor!!!" wtf she totally don deserve my respect at all!!! so all i could say was, this is between me and him, nt ur business, den she hang up on me ._. stupid lor, at least tell her son tt his gf waiting for him for 3 hrs already. cock man got this kind of mother on earth.. ps la baybee, i really don like ur mum!
then after all this chaos, i finally met baybee at 2++ but still in very bad mood, baybee also nt cheer me up or anything... so we walk, like we went out by ourself. one front, one back._. den we went to buy movie ticket,YES MAN, den went to the toilet... after come out from the toilet, baybee say wan to eat lunch.. ask me pei him cos i didnt feel like eating... early in e morning this kind of nonsense from his mum, i where gt mood to eat! so we went to look around, see wad he want to eat... den! finally, baybee came and hold and hand and said sry, ask me don be angry le... den things started to look better...
after that we went to ps, cos he wanted to eat fastfood... but i want to buy my faked eye lasher 1st... buy already, i want to wear it=x so i took damn long to wore it in the toilet... in the end it was 4.15 already... no time for baybee to eat.. den he said he want to tako yaki... lol he keep saying ps tako yaki sux, but he still always wan to eat... lolx cos he want to eat ball ball.. kuku la baybee... den we went to watch movie... after that, walk around, find a place to have dinner... donno wad to eat also, fastfood all crowded.. so in the end we went to eat oster mee sua hahas... den walk walk, go slack slack=x past 12am le=x baybee got surprise for me... lolx.. damn funny surprise=x he wrote " HAPPY 1YEAR ANNIVERSARY" to me with his ass... hahas so funny... i sure will remember it de =]
well, at least the ending of the day was nice... so nvm ba =] i still don like his mum.. =x punish my baybee! tmr go out wif me!
heee's baybee happy 1 year anniversary worx.. let's last long long =] till e end of time♥♥♥
heee's finally it's the 4th of January =]but our anniversary is on the 5th of January...but baybee cannot apply for leave..so nvm, we going to celebrate the day before ^^can't wait for dawn to come...meeting my baybee at town at 10.30...
weeeeeeee.. 1 yr already worx =D yeah>< we sure will havemany many many many many more yrs of anniversary ahead for us to celebrate...wooohoohooo....=xalthough we faced so many difficult period during the relationship...all the this and that nonsense....finally everything is over le...so far, 1 mth never say "the word" already... so happy ^^ heee's sure wont have the chance for us to say it anymore...i love my baybee and nobody can separate us no matter what happen in the future=D
wo de kukumaru, xiao ke ai, xiao baobei, wo ai ni ♥♥♥♥♥♥
4:38 AM
alone* in the rain;
For u my beloved baybee:
My beloved, my cherished one, you shall forever and always be...
A never-ending love song, forever playing in my mind,
A dazzling star, boldly glittering in the midnight sky,
Golden sunshine, lighting every dark corner of my soul
And scarlet ribbons, myriad heartstrings that bind.
You are reassuring moonlight, illuminating the foreboding night,
A garden, entirely of lavender roses, exquisite and rare,
A gentle wind, perpetually stirring my feminine desires
And an eagle, soaring through the heavens in magnificent flight.
You are vintage wine, intoxicating me with passionate delight,
A mighty oak, magnificent in being, standing strong and tall,
A mountain stream, coursing with intensity and resolve
And a blazing fire on a bleak winter day, exuding warmth and light.
You are passion personified, the epitome of sensual pleasure,
Excitement, every holiday on the calendar combined into one,
Constant inspiration, stimulating my feelings and thoughts,
And gold, silver, diamonds, pearls, all manner of grand treasure.
You are vibrantly colored flowers, gathered into a fragrant bouquet,
Succulent raindrops, nourishing the thirsty desert of my mind,
But most important of all, you shall always be the greatest love of my life,
And appreciated much more than my words can possibly convey.
Many more christmas celebration ahead of us=D today was so fun even thought it was raining almost the whole day=D so we met later around 4 den we went to bugis to buy baybee pressie and buy pressie for veron too... aiks... in e end i still haven buy pressie for my baybee=x heee's i sure will get smth for u de sweetheart=x baybee look so shuai today,he wore the shirt i brought for him. my MR YANDAO=X at 1st baybee was so sian, donno wad happen to him, after that ok le. aiya, kuku u la baybee!!! we didnt want to go orchard for count down to xmas. cos we didnt want to get spray by all those ppl. lol... so we went orchard around 12++ walk from ps till wheellock... so tired, cos i was wearing my new high heels but still look so short beside my baybee..aiks... walk walk walk, den got spray war going on=x heeee's baybee got spray by those passer by... luckily i walked nearer to e traffic police man ... hahas i sooooo smart=x den we continued walking down... and saw a crazy ang mo guy! guess what he did!! he jumped around and shouted " muslim, is the biggest problem in my life!!!!" lmao.. i think something wrong wif him... but i must admit, he was damn daring..lolx... den we went to buy drink at starbucks... baybee chocolate taste sooo bitter.. not nice de=x coffee still taste better^^ but baybee don like... den after that baybee send me home... we slack around 7-11 there for awhile before going home... baybee i missed u so much... love u plenty♥♥♥
heee's today so fun=D had a wonderful time wif my baybee.. i woke up by baybee morning call.. but i still went back to slp for awhile=x after preparing myself..finally i am done, out i went :D long long mrt journey to hougang.. but it's worth it just to meet my baybee:D reach around 3.15... but baybee was late, aiks=x kuku baybee... den while waiting for baybee, there was a tiko pek keep on looking at me... sickening! make me feel so unconfortable... after that we went KFC to have lunch together:D then baybee need to study for his tmr coaching... so we went to the library... den i tried to find my book abt margaret thachter... for my business assignment... but then! there was only 1 pathetic book abt her in tt library.. haix ya.. some more that book was found in e children section... so embarrassing...den it was still a children book ._. after that baybee went to revise his work... i was reading interesting article on e the magazine... after that finally baybee was done:D jys tmr worx baybee gambateh baybee :D after that we went to slack slack,sit down and see baybee play psp but before that we went to the provision shop and buy drink and sweets... and baybee went to buy cigarette cos there only sell it as 9.70 den the uncle said"boi , gou sui ma?" hahas den i tell e uncle he 20 le lolx... den e uncle said he look like 17 half...lolx den i say maybe is because i standing beside him ba.. den e funniest thing was! the uncle said i look like 15. hahas so funny... so nice...look younger better den look old=x heee's wanted to eat dinner, but i was nt tt hungry... so i ate a DONUT =X den went to cheers buy snack for our long bus ride home=x took bus 80 home... on e bus i was eating snack,den baybee play psp=x after baybee stop playing, i pei him:D den we started talking,den playing on e bus=x hahas... we play till so fierce that i fall off my seat... cos baybee let go of me, den e bus stopped... so i flew out my seat.. lolx.. den i wave HI to bangala's that was on e lorry... lolx... play until i so over-excited=x so zi high.. lolx den i ki siao>< too hyper active already... den finally reach vivo... baybee pei me take bus 855 and send me home:D heee's den baybee cab home... today so fun worx, baybee i miss u alot =x hope that few yrs down the road, e feeling will still be e same worx, or maybe even stronger=x muackx baybee i love u alot, i really do:D remember 050108 worx =x ai ni♥♥♥♥♥♥
Aiksss~~~ Sooooooo long nv post le wor~~~~ Hmmm jus went out wif my baybee todae sooooo many funny things happen~~ Lol~~~ Bt be4 i tok abt the funny stuff, i nid to sae sumthing to my baybee 1st.. Baybee ah~~~ U so pig lor~~~~ Ask mi gif u morning call den u went back to slp sia~~~ Zhu zhu u~~~~ Bt nvm la i 4gif u noe u v tired cos of mi ah~~~ =x Anyway todae we meet at hogang mall cos i nid to meet my fren 1st n take my notes from him (to revice the toopid underslung thing la~~~) Den we have lunch together n aft tat went to the library. LI-BRA-RY wor~~~ Baybee dun sae my eng cmi le la i noe how to spell de hor~~~ Wakakaka~~~ Hmmm cos baybee nid to borrow sum book on dunno which lady la.. Den we search for the book n search for v long lor~~~ Finally we found the book n its in the children dept ==' Kao lei baybee y u wanna read kid's book sia.. Lol~~ Aft found the book den we go sit 1 corner n study le.. Hmmm i study my notes n baybee jus pei mi n read sum magazine la.. Aft i finish my stuff its abt 6 or 7 le so we jus find a place to relax n watch baybee play my PSP.. Aiksss gt game dun have mi le la~~~~ I soooooooooo bored lor~~~ Oh ya!!! Be4 tat when i go buy cigarette den the uncle wanna check my IC n sae i look lyk 17 sia!!! Cock la uncle dun make mi happi lei~~~ =x Lol.. The best part is he sae baybee look lyk 15!!!! OMG la!!! u mean all the while i have being together wif a 15years old looking kid?!?!??!?!?! Lol~~~ Den the funny thing gg to happen we took bus to habour front n on the way we both disturb each other until ki siao n POOF!!!!! My baybee fall off the seat~~ =x Aiksss bt nt i cause her to fall de la the bus too jerky le la~~~ Lol so kuku lor~~~ Den hor wa kao ehhh~~~ I saw a lorry wif alot of bangala den i sae to baybee : Hey ya fren outside lei. Den u noe wat she did?? She go WAVE to the bangala lor!!!! Is lyk WTH la u realli think they ya fren ah?!?! Lol so funny.. My baybee so high todae~~ Heez~~ Den aft tat we jus sit down n chit chat lor~~ N den wo meng jui hui jia le~~~ Hmmm baybee i miss u lota lota la~~~ Lai kiss yi ke MUUUUUUUACKZZZ Xiang ni wor~~~
so long didnt post already... this blog is dying out... but my love for my baybee will nv die =x well... 1 funny and pervertic thing happened... well on monday(15.0108) renna and i was at queenstown mrt station,waiting for e train... so we sat down and wait for 5mins for the train to arrive.. den we look across tt direction----> there was a block of flat. then there was a man in blue t-shirt standing outside e house... at e staircase there...cos he was so striking...tt's why i realised him... nt long later...we saw that he was pcc-ing!!!!! like wth in public pcc,cant he just do it behind closed door... so disgusting! some more he was pcc-ing alone... wad a pervert! den when our train came, he started to pull down his pants and continue wif wad he was doing... wth la, wad a scene to see.. spoil my eyes.. luckily e train came, stupid bian tai uncle ._. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- today after school,meet my baybee at town.. for lunch...hmmm's we went to eat mac at paradise center.. cos PS was crowded.. den went to order the food at mac... i went to help baybee take chilli sauce... den went walking back to e counter where my baybee was.. A FAT ASS AUNTY! BUMP INTO ME! make me topple e chilli sauce onto my hands! and e worse thing was! she act like she didnt even notice she bump into me! and she didnt even APOLOGISED! GOSH! i was damn pissed off... so i started to gossip and complain LOUDLY to my baybee... i remember baybee asked me who bump into u? den i replied"THERE THE FAT FAT 1 LOR!, KAO LEH! BANG INTO PPL DONNO HW TO SAY SORRY ONE!, SO NO MANNERS CCB! NB" den she heard me gossiping abt her...hahas... she didn't even have the guts to talk back, hum ji! den i keep gossiping non-stop! i was so pissed off! keep staring at her.. she so fat still eat mac! hope she die faster, stupid asshole after eating, baybee and i went to watch movie.. the show was so nice, like it alot.. den after show, baybee and i went to ps thinking of wad pressie to buy for fam outing... den we walk walk walk.... and finally! brought smth... lolx heee's after tt eat dinner =x den baybee lend me his psp for a day, cos i was so into his game... tmr meeting baybee again =D yeah so happy.
baybee i mean everything i say and i will do things tt i promise u i love u baybee♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Hmmm’s today went to work again… Giving out freebie at orchard for 4hrs again… Kinda used too already..didnt wore heels today.. Used my sister ugly looking shoes… Eeeeeks…after job, went to amk find mami and baybee… Cos mami wan to order things at fair price for fam xmas outing… So went to coffee bean sit down and start to plan abt wad programme shld we have… Mami and I so called both gang up and bully baybee… Cos he 2nd sergeant ma lolx=x After tt went to fair price and place order… Den after tt went to food court and eat dinner… E uncle was going to close stall already, so he gave baybee and I extra ingredients.. lolx!!! Uncle we nt ur dustbin=x haix ya,after tt had a little quarrel wif baybee.. cos I wanted him to pei me buy drink… den he don1 to move, den after tt he move le.. I don1 to move.. lolx Den in e end I went to buy myself… Came back,den I nv talk to him… Den he went to listen to music also ._. Baybee auto abit pls,don everytime nt happy den go hear music Ps me and mami… NT nice! Bad habit… I don1 to keep on reminding u! Den all e way to e mrt station we didn’t talk… Until, reached e mrt station and e train came… I didn’t want to board, so I waited for e next train… Talk abit to baybee,den ok le… Den after tt I ask abt his mei ting and e msn ting… Den both not happy again… Haix… I tried my best to control and talk to u le… Don’t want to lose patience on u… And I didn’t lose my patience=D Haix… baybee if got anything, just tell me.. Don everytime say nth nth nth… Can talk to me de ma=D I will try to be more patience de ^^
so many things happen tis few days... so i decided to blog it down :D to keep as memory ba:D so i can learn from my mistake, and prevent it from happening again hope my baybee will read tis post too :D our forever promise^^ ur 2 responsibility, must remember forever worx :D i live my life for u=x heeee's and my life in ur hands also worx so must remember ur promise to me worx =x no more orhs already ar!!! u promise me de worx... so must try ur best to keep it k^^ ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
yest was a terrible day... meet my baybee,but things didnt went e way i wanted it to be.. after break,u str away can find another audi cpl.. haix ya,kinda sad, althought at tt point of time, i was nth to u.. but still if u tot abt me, and hw much u and audi meant to me.. u wont find another gal ba...even tot u explained and say cos u wu liao... wan ppl pei u play..can find me de ma=x and next time say tings, remember to say e important part 1st ma... tt she is only 11 and u cpl wif her for fun... why i cry and angry le, den u say... kuku baybee, everytime make me anyhow think de=[ everytime bully me... haix... don throw my necklance and ring away already ar! i return to u, is ask u to keep me.. lucky yest still can find back, or else u die already ar=x well, lucky we talk it out, and everything was fine again... so glad to have u back by my side=x nv going to say "break" again cos it's nt in my dictionary anymore =D all i want to say is, i love u more and more each day =D ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
today went to work wif ben and desmond and ben fren at orchard... meet at 12++ den went to lv 5 carpark at take all e freebies and shirt from e singtel company... it was so hot! and baybee was suppose to accompany at 12... but as usual, my baybee overslept,and he said he got put alarm... lolx... as usual i need to gif my baybee morning call.. piggy baybee... oink oink u... i know u very independent, but when come to waking up in e morning... u still need me =x hahahas kuku baybee hmmm's so baybee meet me at around 5+ see na so late... all ur fault! kuku u... den it was raining today at orchard and i saw a taxi accident, rite infront of where desmond and i was standing.. lolx so qiao.. den alot of ppl gather around and take photos of it... well well.. i was wearing high heel giving out freebis... so tiring, my leg so pain na... cos of my stupid mum she throw away my shoe, cos it was dirty already... haix ya den cant wear slipper.. after tt, went to eat wif baybee... heee's miss u alot... had so much fun today=x pillow fight session =x so long nv play tt wif u already>< heee's i am missing u worx baybee=x
SMILES♥♥♥MERRY XMAS=D
Hmmm’s today went to work again…
